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suckmydick
We spent an extended weekend in the Tetons and saw all sorts of beautiul things, made all sorts of lovely memories.

This week is my last before school so I am slothing it, watching a movie in the middle of the day, doing nothing too productive or impressive.
Truth is that lazy days are nice in theory and guilt inducing in reality.
Friday were seeing the Rockies in Denver and I'm stoked. Leisure is great, lazy is depressing
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We talked about it and eventually were getting married. It's just a matter of who formally asks first. I want to meet his family first.
We got a puppy, it didn't work out. I cried a lot.
Were in a little shitty studio apartment now and it's great.
In two weeks I'll start school. I'll be a 1010 instructor.

All of my friends are living with roommates and I'm getting married. Not, like, tomorrow, but probably not too far off. A year? Maybe more? Maybe less? It's a weird place to be and I want more friends on m page.
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I would marry his ass tomorrow
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It's my birthday and I can cry if I want to
But I don't cry, I just feel heavy hearted and sad and lonely and like I want to go home to Alex. It's been too long. A month and a half away from the person you love is too much. I feel desperate.
Croatia is cool, obviously, but love is way cooler.
Tomorrow evening we leave for Budapest. I want to go home instead. I don't feel like celebrating my birthday, which is fine really because I've been drinking every day for more than a month and probably I should stop. Did I mention that I want to go home?
Fuck
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There are two scales in this house. One says I am 121 and one says 130. I have never been 130 but 121 is lighter than when I left and I have been drinking every day and eating bullshit. I don't know what to believe. I don't think I'm fatter than ever before but really it's impossible to say. Probably I should just keep drinking and eating ice cream
A couple weeks ago I hit a low point with body image and it was bad. But I committed myself to giving myself compliments and shutting down the negative self talk. I shouldn't have stepped on either scale, but now I have to overpower the internal battle.
On a positive note, I am as tan as I have been in at least five years. I don't even look like I live in Wyoming. I look like maybe I'm from som place warm, like Nevada or something. Even my boobies as booty have gotten sun, thanks to the nude beaxhes (:
Less than two weeks til I'm with Alex again, thank god! I keep wakin up so fucking horny with Millie right there next to me. It's terrible
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