There are two scales in this house. One says I am 121 and one says 130. I have never been 130 but 121 is lighter than when I left and I have been drinking every day and eating bullshit. I don't know what to believe. I don't think I'm fatter than ever before but really it's impossible to say. Probably I should just keep drinking and eating ice cream
A couple weeks ago I hit a low point with body image and it was bad. But I committed myself to giving myself compliments and shutting down the negative self talk. I shouldn't have stepped on either scale, but now I have to overpower the internal battle.
On a positive note, I am as tan as I have been in at least five years. I don't even look like I live in Wyoming. I look like maybe I'm from som place warm, like Nevada or something. Even my boobies as booty have gotten sun, thanks to the nude beaxhes (:
Less than two weeks til I'm with Alex again, thank god! I keep wakin up so fucking horny with Millie right there next to me. It's terrible